Moms love all their children equally and try to be fair in how they allocate their energy and time. But do they parent their children in the same way? According to Verywell Family, "Research shows that most parents end up parenting their kids differently —even if they try to be consistent, fair, and make everything equal." Birth order, temperament, gender, and a child's unique needs are a few of the things that influence parenting styles and decisions.
Children raised in the same family will have unique personalities and temperaments. As such, they have different needs. It is helpful for a child's development when moms are following instincts to parent in different ways that best suit their children's needs.
10 Different Types Of Parenting & How They Affect Your Child
It is important for parents to reflect on the factors that influence their parenting style. Some factors yield benefits for our children, while others may not.
Child Temperament
Children are born with a unique temperament that impacts how they respond to and interact with the world around them. According to Parenting for Brain, most children fall into one of the three following temperaments:
- Easy: flexible, generally happy, adjusts well to new situations and self-soothes
- Difficult: reactive, intense emotions, struggles with change, negative mood
- Slow-to-warm: needs time to adjust, observant, low activity level, wavers between positive and negative
Identifying and understanding your child's temperament will help shape a mom's parenting style. Temperament will change the way a mom prepares each child for new situations, navigates social and emotional development, and advocates for their child.
Parenting In A Changing World
Per Parent Map, just as some parenting advice from older generations can be outdated, so can some practices that moms were once comfortable with when raising their children. For example, moms may have let their oldest walk to school alone. Now they may not let their youngest even play in the front yard alone, due to the concerns of raising kids in today's world.
Birth Order
First-time moms are both nervous and excited about their new roles. Once a mom has experience with her first, she may feel more confident to handle the different stages of childhood. Moms will learn new tips and make changes as needed to their parenting techniques as children develop.
Parents tend to give more responsibilities to their oldest child. They also have higher expectations of achievement for their oldest. Younger children may have fewer responsibilities and get away with more. This can cause feelings of resentment between siblings; thus parents should be cognizant of these differences.
Gender
Parents often discipline, teach, and have different expectations for their children based on gender. It is a better practice to have age-appropriate expectations rather than ones that align with gender stereotypes. Regardless of gender, teach children how to identify and express emotions, regulate feelings, and how to cope. Divide household activities based on age and avoid gender stereotypical roles.
Kids Are Unique
Moms will raise each child differently. They will inevitably see how strategies that worked best with one child don't work with another. As a mother, they will also grow in their confidence and strive to be the best parent possible for each child based on their unique needs. Parents can create equality in their home by focusing on sharing their attention, applying the same family rules to all, and avoiding comparing children to one another.
Sources: Verywell Family, Parenting for Brain, Parent Map