One of the latest parenting trends have us categorizing mothers into three different types:
- Silky moms,
- Crunchy moms, and
- Scrunchy moms.
You may ask yourself, "what the heck is a silky mom?" Before you hop on Urban Dictionary, we'll tell you! Many celebrity and pop culture sites are hosting "What kind of mom are you?" quizzes, where moms can answer a few questions about their parenting style and walk away with an identifier based on their answers. While these quizzes can be silly and fun, some mothers have taken to social media and can offer harsh criticism to moms who don't fall under the same category.
A Brief History Of Crunchy Mothers
If you search "crunchy" on this online etymology dictionary, you'll find:
1892, from crunch (n.) + -y (2). Student slang sense of "annoyingly intense about health or environmental issues" is by 1990, short for crunchy granola (considered a natural and wholesome food) used as an adjective. It could be neutral or positive at first, but later often was dismissive.
The term "Crunchy" can describe someone who is a bit of a health nut. This later transformed into being a type of mother. CrunchyMoms.com defines a crunchy mom as a mom who approaches parenting decisions with curiosity and flexibility.
She is also environmentally and socially conscious; she questions the status quo and will make the best decision for her family based on their individual needs. She isn't afraid to do things in an unconventional way if there's a long-term or health benefit associated with the additional effort. Crunchy moms are typically those who:
- Attempt unmediated or more natural birthing practices
- Cloth diaper
- Breastfeed
- Make meals from scratch, and/or
- Choose organic when possible
Unfortunately, crunchy moms have gotten a bad rep over the years. Some people have preconceived notions that crunchy moms are pretentious and forgo wearing bras and deodorant. This leads to the belief that crunchy moms are both snooty and perhaps a bit smelly.
Silky Moms: A Modern Mother
Recently, information about a new type of mother has hit the scene. The silky mother. Meant as a direct opposition to their crunchy predecessors, silky moms are those who unapologetically chose modern convenience and head recommendations of Eastern medicine and science. Olivia Young describes one reason that she identifies as a silky mom in writing:
I listen to my kids' pediatricians when they tell me one of my kids has an ear infection and needs treatment. I especially listen to the entire medical community when it comes to vaccinating my children. If I stopped trusting my kids' pediatrician for any reason, I would go ahead and find one I trust. I will always trust a medical professional over Google. Always.
In essence, silky moms are the "modern mothers". They trust the advice of their OBGYNs and pediatricians and opt for modern conveniences that make the transition to parenthood a lot less daunting. Silky moms will typically:
- Choose disposable diapers and wipes
- Opt for medicated or surgical birth interventions
- Sleep train
- Follow the "cry it out" method
- Utilize convenience meals
- Exclusively formula feed, and/or
- Fully vaccinate children on schedule
Societal expectations such as "breast is best" lead moms to feel occasional shame for choosing a silky parenting style. Just as unfair judgments are passed on to crunchy mothers, silky mothers experience their fair share of criticism.
Scrunchy Moms: A Happy Medium
This is where scrunchy moms enter the chat. Scrunchy moms are those moms who don't fully identify in either camp. These mothers are a category of parents who pick and choose between these two styles based on what works for their family, refusing to limit themselves for the sake of fitting neatly into one category. For example, a scrunchy mom might do a mix of breast and formula feedings based on her milk supply, her baby's needs, the daycare's requirements, etc. She's flexible, and she wants what is best for her baby.
How Modern Parenting Is A Tad Bit Harder Than Before
Why Moms Are Choosing The Silky Method
Let's face it, sometimes babywearing can make a tired mom physically exhausted, milk supply may not keep up with baby's demands, and disposable diapers are just plain easier. Crunchy methods are absolutely wonderful, but can typically be time-consuming.
For working mothers or mothers with multiple kids, crunchy parenting styles might not be feasible. Modern moms are unapologetically making decisions that help them balance obligations and responsibilities. They're also taking advantage of conveniences made specifically to make mothers' lives easier.
All this to say, mothers want to feel good about choosing what's best for their family's needs and circumstances. Naturally, mothers seek community and find community in like-minded mamas, so these mothering types are a way for moms to connect with people who are raising children in similar ways.
Sources: Crunchy Moms, Etymonline, Romper