How To Be Involved In Multiple Kids’ Lives As An Overwhelmed Single Mom

A single mom with multiple kids can feel herself being stretched very thin. Every child needs ample attention from their mom and when these kids have their own busy schedules, single moms can find it nearly impossible to be everywhere they need to be. They can also struggle to give out all the attention and emotional needs that all kids require. Tough choices need to be made, and it's just a reality that one of your kids may feel left out from time to time. Single moms really do need to prioritize their time in order to make the best of it.

When moms have multiple kids with multiple activities and events, and no co-parent to share the weight of their presence and transportation, they can feel really guilty for not being able to make time for all of them. Single moms only have themselves to count on to be everywhere and do everything with little time to spare.

Single Mom Burnout

Parental burnout is a very real thing that affects so many parents but single moms experience a level of burnout to an extreme with no end in sight. When deep in the trenches of motherhood, single moms can feel like they're often drowning. They work as much as they need to in order to make ends meet, often take on extra hours, or have to complete some level of work on their off hours.

At home, single moms are the only parent present and take on the entire burden of kids. When raising multiple kids, there are ways to make meaningful time for each child. One tip from Very Well Family suggests that busy moms designate 15 minutes each day for each kid. Ask about their day, friends, and how they've been. At this time, the only focus should be on them. The value of time together should be quality over quantity. Undivided attention for a set amount of time can mean a lot more to a child of all ages as opposed to distracted attention from an overwhelmed mom.

Be Where You're Needed

When single moms have multiple kids and find themselves needing to be in multiple places at once, it may make sense to schedule the time-out ahead of the events. Knowing when and where you'll be watching practices and attending games or being present for recitals, or heading back to school for some sort of presentation can really help moms feel like they have a great and equitable schedule that works for their family.

If done right, moms will be splitting their time in the best numerical way possible. However, it may feel more natural and less harmful to no longer have a strict schedule of where you will be. It may feel better for everyone if you stay where you feel like you're needed the most. All kids are different and sometimes one of your kids will need some extra support. As moms, we know when our child needs us more than their sibling, and it's perfectly fine to prioritize one child over the other if they need it.

This isn't, and shouldn't be a battle of who moms love the most as opposed to which child needs the most support in the moment. Always frame the choices you have to make as ones of needs and that you want to be present for everyone, but you're just one person doing their best.

Source: Harvard Business Review, Incourage, Very Well Family