A new study has found that a parent’s belief about gender can predict the role they play in a family when it comes to housework and childcare. Gender roles are something that is still prevalent in the world that we live in and even though we would like to think that gender stereotypes are on their way out, we all may still have slight biases in our minds that we are not even aware of when it comes to gender roles in the home. Studies are always being done to look at the impact these biases and thoughts can have.According to PsyPost, a study was done that looked at the beliefs about “biological essentialism” and how it shapes the division of housework and childcare in a home. The study was published in the Journal of Social Psychology, and it can be read in full here.RELATED: 'LEGO' Is Working To Remove All Gender Stereotypes From Their ToysIt was found that a parent's beliefs about gender predict how much they will be involved in childcare and housework. They found that households that had a woman as the breadwinner in the family, had vastly different views about what their roles were in the home compared to families that had the more ‘traditional’ environment where the dad was the breadwinner.The most popular arrangement remains that the dad is the breadwinner, and the mother cares for the children and the home, but that is slightly changing. Mariana Pinho and Ruth Gaunt wanted to look at the thoughts that parents had and how that shaped their division of family roles. To complete this, they looked at the gender ideologies of parents in traditional relationships, and in those that were the opposite. They also looked at what they believed when it came to the idea that men and women have a natural draw to certain jobs and roles within a family.

This year will be my 8th wedding anniversary with my husband, and a lot has changed since that beautiful October day. My husband and I had a “typical” relationship, and probably quite boring. We dated for a couple of years, then we moved in together, and then he popped the question. We had a very traditional wedding, and a beautiful honeymoon in the Bahamas, and even though that was one of the best moments of my life, it seems like a blur now.So much has changed in those 8 years, we’ve had three children, we bought a house in another city, and we have been living the suburb dream for a while now. Even though my wedding seems so far away, I know our marriage has a long way to go. I remember details about that day, and I remember my vows. We decided to write our own vows, and they were short and sweet. They weren’t long rambles, full of empty promises, but they expressed how we were feeling at the time perfectly. There is a problem with vows though, in my opinion, they are done too early.RELATED: When To Fix A Marriage & When To Let It GoWhen you say your wedding vows, this is near the beginning of your journey together, and they are all sweet promises, but they are promises made out of context. When you are young and in love, you don’t know anything about marriage. You know a wedding, and a commitment, but the concept of what it takes to make a marriage work is foreign to you. As it should be, you are only just starting out. Looking back now, my vows seem almost silly, and little applies to how our married life actually is.[EMBED_INSTA]https://www.instagram.com/p/CVcyMllrn3-/[/EMBED_INSTA]If I had to rewrite my vows now, that I am 8 years into a marriage, they would likely look a lot different, and I guess that is why people renew their vows. After time and experience have passed, you need to renew them because the original ones have expired, and they are just not valid anymore. Our life is beautiful, but it is hard. The world is expensive, and even though we are not by any means struggling, we live paycheck to paycheck. Our children are all young, and my mental health (which I always struggled with) has taken many hits along the way in motherhood. I have lived with postpartum anxiety, and it has taken a toll on our marriage. You may be wondering why I am explaining this, but it is simply to give you some context.If I had to rewrite my vows today, there would be a lot of apologies. I would apologize for how hard I know it is being with me sometimes, and enduring the effects of my mental health. However, I would also know to acknowledge the fact that it has only had an impact because he is my safe space, and I know that I can break down with him. He is my comfort and my person with whom I can be 100% authentic in my joys and sorrows. Now, he has his flaws too, but those never come out in wedding vows. We always say things like “in sickness and in health,” but maybe there needs to be a line about accepting another’s flaws and choosing to love them anyway.[EMBED_INSTA]https://www.instagram.com/p/BHXCdO8BgSH/[/EMBED_INSTA]I would also mention how our marriage has changed. How we don’t appear to be “in love” anymore, and that is just because we have truly settled into each other now. We are partners, and there has been damage done to our relationship by being together so long, and the pandemic has not helped. The pandemic has meant that he has been working from home for 2 years, and while we all love our partners, no couple should be together every hour, every day and that has taken a toll.This is worth mentioning because maybe every married couple should be renewing their vows after living through these times. Regardless of where our marriage has gone, it has grown and strengthened, and I believe that our vows now would be less about the “fairy tale” wedding and marriage that it was 8 years ago, and it would be more practical to where our relationship is today.

It may seem unbelievable, but I knew that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom from a very young age. As far back as I can remember, I knew that my goal in life was to get married, have babies, and stay home to take care of them. This may make some feel like I am setting back the “female movement,” but it’s not. This is what I want, it is what I chose for my life, and I am quite content being a stay-at-home mom, and a housewife. This is a job, and this is my job. I may not leave the house and commute, or get paid with money, but this is my career.My husband has a career. He goes to an office, and he works really hard. However, he still has to come home at the end of the day, and he has to help me. He has to pick up some work around the house, and I don’t feel bad about that. I have heard it all, “your husband works, he should be able to get a break when he gets home” is the most common thing I have heard from people who hear that he comes home and helps at home.RELATED: 6 Morning Habits For Mom To Start Her Day Off RightThis should not be shocking to anyone. He helped make these children, he wanted these children as much as I did, and he wants this life too. Would he like a break when he comes home? Sure, but the reality is that he got a one-hour lunch break at work, and I did not. Now, please don’t take this as me complaining about being a stay-at-home mom, because I am not. However, what I am is human, and all humans need breaks. I have three children, a 5-year-old, a 3-year-old, and a 2-year-old, so it is really easy to say that my house is busy throughout the day with only one of them being in school. The action is non-stop, and I feel like I am moving all day, seldom getting a second to sit down.It is also important to note that he is not bothered or upset about being asked to help or pitch in around the house. He also doesn’t think that he is “helping” me. He is just doing his part. With that being said, what he does around the house is still not as involved as what I do. I have always made dinner and cleaned up the messes, but he has to be involved with the kids. When he “helps,” he is usually entertaining the kids for the night, while I make the dinner, clean up and get some time for me. This is a partnership. A marriage means both of us are working together, and this is what it takes to make a house run smoothly.[EMBED_INSTA]https://www.instagram.com/p/CAF2Aj7J7-E/[/EMBED_INSTA]Since I am home with the children, our house doesn’t always end up looking like a tornado went through it when he gets home, but if it does, he gets to work. I grew up in a home where my dad went to work, and my mom stayed home and my husband had a very similar upbringing, so some of our ideals are generational and have been passed down to us, but the dads always helped. I know there are families out there that have the mom staying home and the dad working, and the dad comes home at the end of the day and is not expected to lift a finger, and here is what I have to say about that. If that is working for that family, and everyone’s physical and mental health is well, that is awesome. You do you. However, in my opinion, this should not be the norm, and it becomes a problem when someone’s mental health is suffering. If mom doesn’t want to ask her husband to do anything because ‘he was at work all day,’ and she is starting to suffer from burn out, she needs to communicate. Sometimes, it can be as simple as dad not knowing that she needs help, and moms are notorious for not asking for help, but moms mental health is vital for the well-being of the entire family.