It takes a lot of hard work for a marriage to work, and that is no secret. Both parties have to be willing to work together to make sure that the relationship thrives. If they have children, they are likely to do this to make sure their children have both parents in a harmonious home.
However, they are also doing it for themselves. They want their marriage to work because they do love the other person. The other person is their partner, and someone they promised to be with for the rest of their lives, and this means that they want to do everything they can to make sure it is strong.
A big part of marriage involves sacrifice. While no one should be sacrificing part of who they are to fit with someone else, there are always things that one has to “let go of.” It is a give-and-take, and a couple finds a compromise that works for them. There are 10 things that are easy to give up for the sake of your marriage, and we have them here.
10 Give Up Blaming
According to Gottman, one of the biggest obstacles in a marriage is running into the “blame game.” This has got to go. When we quickly blame the other person for any problem, we run into conflict. Part of giving up blame is dropping a bit of the ego, and being humble.
9 Complaining
It is easy to complain about what is going wrong in your life, but complaining constantly can bring negativity to the air, and this can bring everyone else down around you. Instead of complaining about what is happening in your life, try and shift your mindset to more positive things that are happening.
8 The Silence
If a couple wants their marriage to work, they have to communicate. When something is wrong, talk about it. When there is a problem, talk about it together. Communication is the best way to make sure both parties are on the same page, and this cannot happen if one person is keeping everything to themselves.
7 You Don’t Need To “Win”
Arguments are bound to happen in every marriage. Even couples who appear to have the best relationship will have arguments. This is normal, but how you deal with them is what matters the most. According to Keisha Blair, couples need to give up having to “win” an argument. They need to stop looking at them as competition, and not as a situation where someone has to come out on top.
6 Perfectionism
Perfectionism has no place in a marriage, and that is because no marriage will ever be perfect. If you are striving for perfection, you will never get there, and it will leave you feeling defeated and like you have failed. Stop comparing your marriage to what you see on the TV or other people’s relationships.
5 Let It Go
If you are the kind of person that holds onto things that have happened in the past, and this means you have a tendency to bring them up every fight, you need to give this up. The past is gone, and bringing them up every time there is a slight disagreement means the marriage cannot progress and grow.
4 Give Up Control
Control is a very powerful thing, and while some people are OK with just letting things happen organically, there are others that need to feel like they are in control. If they don’t feel this way, it can make their anxiety worse, and it can put them in a constant state of panic. You have to be OK with giving up control in a marriage. Each partner has equal control, and this means that you need to compromise.
3 Give Up A Day
Life gets really busy, and it can be hard to find time to spend with just your partner. You have your careers, your kids, and all of their activities, and you may have a moment when you realize you can’t think of the last time you had time with just your partner. According to Focus On The Family, it is important to make this time, and that may mean giving up another activity you love to spend time with your partner.
2 Give Up Hobbies
This one sounds weird, but we don’t mean to give up all your hobbies, but try and make sure that you find some time to create new hobbies that you can do with your partner. Maybe you give up a bit of time you spend on a hobby of yours to do a new hobby with your partner.
1 Just Give Up
The best thing to do may be to just give up entirely. Just let everything go, be happy, be with each other, and do it all in the moment. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself, your family, and your relationship, and just enjoy the time you have together.
Sources: Gottman, Keisha Blair, Focus On The Family