Sometimes moms may yell at their kids way more than they'd like to admit. Yelling comes from both a place of anger and frustration for moms. When a mom yells, it may signal she has reached her breaking point and feels she has no other choice. For other moms, yelling may be something they do all too often and know they need to stop but still can't help it. Yelling at our kids will likely happen to the best of us at some point, and moms are known for yelling at their kids usually out of exasperation.
After yelling, you may feel terrible about it and even apologize but at the moment, it seems like you have no choice. There are many reasons why a mom may choose to yell and a loss of control may be the biggest. Moms yell to be heard and to be seen. We yell because we think no one is listening, and we've exhausted all other options. You may also begin to yell when you start to feel anxious which can easily trigger you to get upset.
Excessive yelling in a family and at children has been compared to the same detrimental effects as spanking. There is a level of yelling that may not have a significant negative effect, but there's a fine line between yelling to get your child's attention or make a point, and it's another for it to be a regularly yelling mom whose kids cringe when you enter the room.
Yelling Is Common
Almost all parents yell and it's very normalized. There's the very real reality that when you yell it's the only time your kids will listen to you. Yelling certainly isn't a recommended parenting style or form of regular discipline, but it's a very common thing to do as a parent. A study from the Journal of Marriage and Family concluded that nearly 90% of parents with children ages two or older admitted to yelling, screaming, or shouting at their kids.
With parents who had kids over the age of 7 years old, the number of parents who yelled or shouted jumped to almost 100%. You're not alone in your yelling, and it doesn't make you a bad mom at all. Yelling at our kids shouldn't be the first thing we do but when we have multiple kids who just won't listen, patience can wear thin.
If you yell or shout at your kids, even just a little, you owe it to them to try and do it less. It all boils down to how we treat another person, and we doubt you would like to be yelled at consistently. When you feel yourself getting to the point of wanting to yell, take a deep breath and think if it's worth it. Still, know that all parents will yell at times, and it's ok. As long as you don't yell all the time or to the point of belittling them or drawing out an issue or yelling to the point of no control. There are other ways to get your kid's attention and there are better ways to express yourself when angry.
Source: Today's Parent, Journal of Marriage and Family, Today