If you ask any mom if they remember high school, they may remember certain things, but most of it is a blur. It is likely that they remember the “mean” moments, times when they were bullied, when they embarrassed themselves, or when they were the topic of some gossip.
High school is not a pleasant experience for everyone, and that is because social standings are tested, and this can be hard for a developing teen to go through. They may struggle to make friends, and their school work and grades may suffer. This is why some are so happy when high school is over, and they enter the “real world.”
They believe that they won’t have to struggle and navigate these challenging moments anymore, but they can quickly learn this is not the case, especially for moms.
When moms start to enter play groups, school yards and PTA meetings, they may find that it can seem like they are in high school all over again. If a mom finds herself dealing with gossip again, we have 10 ways that they can deal with it.
10 Act Quickly
According to Psychology Today, the best thing to do may be to act quickly, and this method will lead to the least amount of confrontation. What you want to do is “deflect.” This means that you want to change the topic. You want to steer the conversation in another direction, and get everyone to talk about something else.
9 Say “No”
If you are a mom who doesn’t mind a bit of confrontation if you know you are doing the right thing, you can call the gossiper out. Tell them that what they are talking about is really none of anyone’s business, and that you are not comfortable being a part of this conversation. This may not end the gossip, but it will remove your role in it, and you know you are doing the right thing.
8 Act Bored
Another way to deflect the gossip while avoiding confrontation is to act disinterested. If gossip comes up, just act like you are not interested in the conversation. Look away, act bored or even pick up your phone to look through. While the gossiper may think this is “rude,” they are not being very polite in spreading gossip either.
7 Question It
It is normal, and even a bit natural, to be interested in gossip, but that does not mean it is right. The person gossiping may also not have the right information, or the whole store, and don’t be afraid to question it. When you hear the gossip being spread, ask the person where they heard it, or if there is a chance they are wrong. This can lead the person to second guess what they are hearing and spreading.
6 What If The Gossip Is About You?
Most of the time, when we hear gossip, it is about someone else. However, what should mom do if she hears that someone is spreading rumors about her? This is a completely different scenario, and it may be a tougher one.
According to WikiHow, what mom should do is approach the person gossiping directly and ask them what is going on. Tell the person how you feel, and make sure you do listen, as some people don’t mean to gossip.
5 Ignore It
If mom is hearing gossip about herself, or a close friend of hers, the best path may be to just ignore it. It is instinct to want to defend yourself, or those close to you, but ignoring it may be the best thing to do to protect your mental health and wellbeing. A person who gossips likely has a need for attention, and ignoring it is the best way to make sure you are not feeding into it.
4 Find An Outlet
It can feel good to be a part of a group, and some moms may be intimidated by gossip, and they may not know what to do because they are fearful that their refusal to partake could lead them to being kicked out of the group.
However, gossip is toxic, and it should be treated as such, according to Baby Cubby. It is best to find other outlets for your time and energy that may not involve sitting with other moms who love to talk about the new mom who moved in, or the new kid in class.
3 Remind Them Who They Are
Like we mentioned earlier, it is easy to fall into the trap of listening, or spreading gossip, and sometimes we all just need a little reminder. If you find yourself in a group with someone who is gossiping, remind them that they are a mom, and they need to set a good example. That they need to make sure their children don't gossip, and they should be the role model they want for their child.
2 Make New Friends
Sometimes the best thing to do is to just make new friends. Find a new group to hang out with, and this is especially important if you have expressed your disdain for gossip. This may be your hint that this group of friends is not the one for you, and to protect your mental health, it is OK to just walk away.
1 Offer Some Empathy
Empathy is a skill that we all have, some are better at it than others, and some need to be reminded to use it. If you find yourself in the middle of a conversation that involves some gossip, ask the person how they would feel if they heard some rumors about themselves, or if they found out people were talking about them behind their back. This may be enough to show the person that what they are doing is wrong.
Sources: Psychology Today, WikiHow, Baby Cubby