Motherhood is challenging, and this struggle may look different to every mom, but it is there. No mom can say if they “have it the hardest,” because we don’t know the struggles of another, and it would be unfair to turn it into a competition.
However, there are always certain aspects of motherhood that are universal. Themes and challenges seem to be felt by the majority of moms. Things that have to be normalized. Society has an image of mothers, and what that is supposed to mean, and these can play into what keeps moms down.
If these things were normalized, more moms would feel comfortable opening up about the struggles they are facing. More moms would be able to get the help they need, and this would only benefit the entire family. If mom is in a great headspace, the family benefits, so we have 10 things that need to be normalized for moms.
10 It’s OK Not To Love Every Moment
Moms are expected to love every moment of being a mom, and they shouldn’t complain. According to PS I Love You, it is OK to not love every moment of motherhood, and it may be more normal to not love every moment. To wish for times when you are by yourself, or you don’t have to be at someone’s beck and call every moment.
9 It’s OK To Be Tired
Moms are told that they have to be superheroes and be able to handle any challenges that come their way. This means that they may hide the fact that they are exhausted. When a mom complains that she is tired, she is often met with disdain, and a lot of “this is what you asked for” comments. Just let mom be tired.
8 Not Taking Care Of Everything
This one goes along with the last one, in that moms are often seen as superheroes who should be able to handle the load. According to Newsbreak, the problem with this is that if mom cannot handle it all, she is left feeling like she is failing. We need to normalize moms not doing everything, and being completely content with it.
7 There Are Two Parents
Let’s normalize the fact that there is a dad there who can help. In families that have two parents, there is another fully grown adult who can help, and they don’t deserve extra praise for doing normal parenting duties. This only leaves mom feeling like she is not as appreciated.
6 Moms Can Take Care Of Themselves
Moms often need time for themselves. They need time when they can take care of them, and do the things they need to go out and do something for themselves. Mothers who do this often are labeled as “selfish,” and this needs to change. Moms are human, and they deserve to do what they need to do to take care of their mental health.
5 Messy Homes
Let’s normalize messy homes in motherhood. Moms can often be stressed about the state of their homes, especially if they have guests coming over. Homes are meant to be lived in, and they are not museums, and with kids running around they are going to get a bit out of order. The quicker we normalize this; the quicker mom can drop the guilt about it.
4 Every Mother Is Different
There is no guidebook for being a mom, and this means that every mom is going to be different, and do things differently with their children. Moms can often find themselves in mommy wars with other moms, because they have been taught that there are only a few ways to do things, but we need to normalize that every mom is different.
3 Having A Bad Day
The world seems to forget that moms are human the moment they welcome children, however, moms have bad days, and we need to normalize that. Mothers make bad decisions sometimes, that they learn from, and they have moments that did not go as they planned, and that is OK. This is another step that will end mom guilt.
2 Boundaries
Moms often want to set boundaries with their children, and this can be hard for others to accept. Boundaries are important for anyone, but especially a mom. According to Miss Malini, when moms try to set boundaries, they are often guilt-tripped, especially if this is done with family and events. However, we need to normalize that every mom is only doing what is best for them.
1 Being Comfortable In Their Own Skin
When women become moms, they may become more relaxed about how they look. Some call this “letting themselves go,” but it is really just being comfortable with how they look and needing to be comfortable to take better care of their children. Let moms be how they want to be.
Sources: PS I Love You, Newsbreak, Miss Malini